The Genie Whose Name Was Carl
by XxNightfirexX
Summary: Beast Boy would have to contact the Dr. Pepper Company. I mean, not only was his Dr. Pepper thousands of years past the expiration date, but now a sarcsatic genie who hates idiots named "Carl" has popped out! Was this some kind of joke?


In the space between my last update and now, I have:

**In the space between my last update and now, I have:**

**Been diagnosed as being asthmatic**

**Gotten an inhaler**

**Was hooked up to oxygen tank (THREE TIMES!)**

**Began my next Social Studies Fair project**

**Started Science Fair**

**Ate at the food court in the mall...three times**

**Wrote the "Ballad of Brannon Steck" (My chorus teacher; tune of "Sweeney Todd.")**

**Bought yet another "Fruits Basket" DVD and now own the first nine books of it**

**Had to make another "NOTECARD OF DEATH" (PM me or ask in a review for what that is)**

**Made a scrapbook**

**Got named as one of the three incredibly gifted writers in my Language Arts class after writing a memoir that my teacher loved (Obviously)**

**And completely bored several people with what I did in the past 16 days! **

**On to the story, now...**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Teen Titans! (PS! Check out icanhascheezburger .com for all of your funny cat picture needs!) **

**X**

Beast Boy had spent half the day running. He had run from Cyborg because he had...err..."accidentally" knocked over a can of bright pink permanent paint, which was to be used for a present that Robin had been making for Starfire, and it happened to land on the T-car.

He had run from Robin because that paint was really expensive. That, and it was a little embarrassing for the Boy Wonder to walk in to a paint store and ask for the brightest color of pink they owned. Not only is it bad for one's self-esteem, but people would start suspecting that something was up. Knowing how obsessed some of Jump's citizens were with any little piece of gossip, they would start snooping. Robin liked to keep the constant fans and reporters to a minimum. Small children were the exception; Robin had a soft spot for little girls and boys who had lisps and were incredibly cute standing on their doorstep with an oversized lollipop in hand. Raven, on the other hand, had no such exception. But that's a different story for another time.

He had run as fast as he could to get to Starfire, where he would be protected, to some degree, from Robin's wrath. Because, as was very well known in the Tower, Robin's _other _soft spot was Starfire. Beast Boy loved using that to his advantage. However, just as quickly as he had run to Starfire, he had turned around and fled in the opposite direction. It wasn't that she smelled or was giving out death-hugs or anything; he would have liked hat better. No, she had decided to make "Cream of toe nail soup" again, and he would rather face Raven than eat that again.

And, as if to grant his wishes right then and there, he ran straight into Raven. Not only was that something that needed to be avoided AT ALL COSTS on a daily basis, but you would definitely die had she had something in hand, like, say, a freshly poured, boiling hot, cup of herbal tea. And since that was now on her instead of inside her, as was the general plan, Beast Boy had attempted to escape. Needless to say, it did not turn out so well. But that is not the main focus of the story, so I will move on and leave the torture he went through for your imagination.

Finally, he could relax. His shoulders slouched as he trudged into the kitchen, panting heavily. He grabbed the nearest can of soda, which looked like a can of Dr. Pepper. Had he been at full mental capability, which was a lot higher than even the occupants of the tower was under the impression of, he would have been able to tell that this was not your ordinary can of Dr. Pepper. However, as previously stated, he was not. He took his can of mysterious liquid and sat down on the couch.

Searching for the remote, he finally found it next to a greasy slice of month-old pizza. Shrugging it off, he threw the slice behind him carelessly and turned on the TV. Some NASCAR race was on. After taking a deep breath, he could feel his muscles slowly become less tense. He opened his can of soda and was just about to take a drink when he heard something. A tiny voice.

"Let me out!" it cried. Beast Boy's eyes darted about.

"Who said that?" he asked, not seeing anyone nearby. Then again, if someone wanted out of somewhere then he probably wouldn't be able to see them.

"It's me, Carl! Let me out!" the voice cried. Beast Boy slowly looked down at the can he was holding.

"Um? Carl? Are you, by chance, my soda can?" he asked. Maybe Raven HAD been right about his mental capabilities being an embarrassment to human beings.

"No! I'm in the soda can! I'm stuck!" He slowly backed away from 'Carl.'

"Uh, my mom told me not to talk to strange cans," he replied.

"I'm not a can! I'm IN the can! Help me, please! If you're not planning on doing anything, can you take me to someone who will? Preferably a hot chick?" Now Beast Boy was both confused and disgusted. He would have to call the Dr. Pepper Company about this.

"What do you want me to do? And why should I let you out? How do I know that you're not evil, or some possessed dragon like Malchior?" He accused.

"Who is Malchior? I'm CARL. C-A-R-L. Just shake the can upside down and I'll come out!" Well, crime was low, his teammates were out to eat him alive, and this NASCAR race was boring as ever, so it was worth a shot.

He turned the can over and began to shake it. Something orange and squishy wiggled out of the can, as canned dog food might when you try to expel it from the can after opening it. 'Carl' lay on the floor in a big, see-through orange heap, looking like someone had dumped orange Jell-o on the floor halfway through the refrigeration process. Beast Boy looked suspiciously into the can. What kind of Dr. Pepper _was _this?

Finally, Carl began to suck himself up and resemble an orange transparent man, who, by the way, was floating and had no feet.

"Ugh," he mumbled, "I can't believe I was trapped in there for three hundred years!" No wonder this Dr. Pepper was screwed up! It was expired! ...Had Dr. Pepper even been around that long?

"Who...are you?" Beast Boy asked, now standing behind the sofa.

"I already told you, my name is-"

"I know what your name is! I mean, why are you orange and what are you doing in my Dr. Pepper can?"

"First of all, this is not a can of 'soda.' Secondly, this can is the ancient genie holder formed thousands of years ago in Egypt. In fact, this rare specimen is worth trillions of dollars, seeing as it is the only one of its kind. Not only that, but-" He looked up, and, seeing as every word he said was going in one ear and out the other, he sighed. "Well," he asked, "Did you understand any of what I just told you?"

"...But why are you _**orange**_?" He cried.

"I'm an ancient genie confined to this containment cylinder from Egypt, and I'm doomed to serve an idiot by granting him three wishes,"

"Ha-ha! You have to serve an idiot! What's his name?" Beast Boy asked. The genie stared at him, horrified that this guy was dumber than expected.

"I don't know, what's your name?" he asked.

"My name is Beast Boy, why?" He stared backed, blinking a few times. "Oh."

"Anyway, you get three wishes. Make them quick and then please hand this can over to a scientist or someone who knows how to spell Carl."

"I know how to spell Carl!" Beast Boy told him. "K-A-R-L!"

"I'm doomed."

**X**

**I promise that this story will be very short and well updated. Honest. It will have four chapters. This one, wish #1, #2, and #3. That's it. Maybe an epilogue. Not sure yet. Word is freaking out. Sentence fragments. Hi Sereaphina! Turtles. Yes...turtles...**

**I'll be your best friend if you review! **

**XxNightfirexX**


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